I fucked the fudge.

Fucked it right to hell.  

I was making it and got distracted (I know, how does that HAPPEN?) and put in too many marshmallows.  So it's fucked. 
Not just fucked, I found out, but ANGRY.  We were mocking it in the kitchen, you know, poking it with a fork and laughing...  This is where the freaky deaky music starts...
This fork had been standing up.  I went to mess with the brood and came back to this...  

 
Then it. Just. Got. Worse.

IT WAS ANGRY.  And eating the FORK!  I was afraid to try to retrieve it, so we just watched it go... sniff..

Bye, fork.  sob.  We had (choke) a good run...

It's gonna be ok.  It's in a better place. 

Funeral and service on Wednesday.  (sniff) Bring a dish.